Watching them breath

Last week I had a breakthrough. Partway through teaching the required flow I actually started to see the practicing students breathe. This is BIG! Like, quantum physics big for me. When I first started this training I had to take a lot of what the instructors said to us on faith. That is, I couldn't really see how it was going to work, but I had to believe that they knew what they were talking about. Why else would I fork over my VISA to take the course? But so much of what we are learning is about coming out of your head and speaking to what you see, and that concept is alien and unwelcome to me. How in the world am I supposed to move them through a flow class if I'm not staying in my head? How can I be a good yoga teacher if I don't talk like a yoga teacher? You know, soft and low like an Enya song. Well, it turns out that if I know my stuff I can get out of my head and start seeing my students in real time. I was so tickled by this that I held them too long in some pretty strenuous poses. Ooops! Obviously I still have a lot of work to do.

We had another guest teacher who introduced us to the Anatomy and Physiology side of yoga. Now this might as well have been quantum physics. I actually took notes, but I don't think they're very good. At one point I asked him to clarify something I thought I'd written down verbatim and he responded that he didn't say that. Which just proves a point I made in an earlier blog: note-taking doesn't help me! Anyway, it was all incredibly interesting and overwhelming but the bottom line is that every system in the body affects each other and all systems are affected by the practice of yoga. Imagine that even on the most basic level, the cellular level, sections of DNA (genes, characteristics) can be turned on or off by something called an epigenome. And the epigenome basically determines which genes are expressed and which are not throughout our lifetime. This epigenome is influenced by external factors and our reactions to them such as stress, toxic environments or chemicals, and even relationships. Even more fascinating is the thought that we can control our reactions through breath, meditation, and a strong asana practice!

Wow!! Pretty heavy stuff!

I do like how "matter of fact" this training is. As much as I like to be petted I'm still my mother's daughter and she raised me to be practical. And though I can appreciate the spiritual nature of yoga I can't see myself lighting candles, chanting and flowing from a plain of one-ness with the universe on a regular basis. I get sad, angry, disappointed, lonely, insecure and depressed every now and then and I can see the value in looking at those reactions through clear and pragmatic eyes. My instructors are very insistant on this subject. I have to constantly examine the stories I tell myself in my head. About how people are reacting to me and what they are thinking or saying when I can't really hear it. I shouldn't always assume it's about me, or that it's negative, or that I can influence someone else in any way. Just do my thing and move on.

I may not make everyone happy. That's a hard lesson for a teacher to learn. Especially a wannabe yoga teacher. But I know it's going to be a valuable lesson to have under my belt. So I'll watch them breathe, speak to what I see in the moment and and try with each new class to be exactly who I am, talk in my own voice and not hold them in side plank too long. :)